Fleeting
by thedeliverygod
Summary: No matter how she imagined the conversation, it all lead back to the fact that he was a god and she was a human; he was immortal and she was not. No matter how he felt or how she felt, that was the reality of it. [yatori one-shot, manga spoilers up to 67]


**Yet another one-shot focused after the current arc of the manga because this is how I cope, especially now that we don't know when the hiatus is going to end. So needless to say, there's some spoilers up to chapter 67 (though to be honest I'm pretty vague with them in order to avoid lengthy explanations).**

 _Fleeting_

Hiyori combed her fingers through Yato's hair lightly as he rested his head on her chest, his eyes shut and his face peaceful. He practically radiated innocence as he slept and she couldn't help a smile from creeping across her lips. From the first moment she saw him like this, she knew that his father couldn't have been more wrong about the kind of god he was. The kind of god he was _always_ supposed to be.

Yato had become a frequent visitor to her room at night lately, plagued with nightmares and not able to sleep. Yato's father was still wandering around freely even after they'd all risked and lost so much. Of course, he'd be in hiding for quite a while after putting himself directly in heaven's sights, but that didn't stop anyone from worrying; Yato especially.

She and Yukine hadn't been able to sleep in the beginning either; all three of them spending entire nights sitting out on the roof of Kofuku and Daikoku's house and managing a few small naps in the day time. But Hiyori had always had the benefit of leaving her physical body and letting it rest while Yato and Yukine were left to deal with their lack of sleep.

Eventually, Yukine had managed to start sleeping again and in turn, Yato started to feel better. However, he found that when he did fall asleep, he was faced with dark memories of his past as well as multiple dreams about losing Yukine, her, or both of them at once. After waking from a particularly vivid dream and checking on Yukine first, he had teleported to Hiyori's new room in her grandmother's house to check up on her as well.

And that's how their nightly visits began. It wasn't every night, as Yato didn't want to worry Yukine nor leave him by himself too often, but they were still relatively frequent. They started out much like the nights they'd spent out on the roof, with Hiyori slipping out of her body so that she could spend time with Yato without him worrying about her not getting any rest.

Then there was one night that Yato could barely keep himself standing up, the fatigue finally taking its toll. So she told him to sit down on her bed without thinking twice about it. Once there, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep and though she was somewhat embarrassed by sharing the same bed as Yato, she couldn't bring herself to wake him up. She just took solace in the fact that he was asleep on _top_ of the covers while she was beneath them, and tried to make sure she kept a healthy amount of space between them.

But that didn't last for long.

The next time he showed up, he absolutely begged to sleep in her bed again with the claim that it was the only sort of real sleep he'd gotten in over a month. After finally agreeing to it, she stood up to go get a spare futon before he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, insisting being close to her was what was helping him sleep. So she agreed reluctantly, her heart pounding and her breath held in her chest as she slipped underneath the covers beside him.

His eyes barely open, he gave a tired smile and reached out to grasp her hand lightly before he drifted off.

Once she knew he was definitely asleep, she finally exhaled and tried to relax. His scent definitely made that feat easier, but she also found herself unable to look away from him. How peaceful he looked, how his back rose and fell with each soft breath, and how more and more strands of his hair were starting to fall down into his face. She reached out with her free hand to brush them backwards, only fixing it somewhat while a lot of strands fell right back down, so she just gave a small smile as her hand drifted back down towards the mattress and she felt sleep start to overtake her too.

A few hours later, and for the most part still asleep, she shivered from the cold of the room and moved farther into the bed where it was warmer. It was only when she collided with something solid and Yato's scent overwhelmed her that she realized she had snuggled up to him in her sleep and now he was blinking his eyes open in confusion. Her eyes wide and a small high pitched noise making its way past her lips, she pushed off him and started to turn over before she found herself being dragged back towards him in an embrace.

"It's okay, it's cold." He mumbled, his arm around her middle and his head resting just above hers.

Her cheeks burned, but she was too tired and too comfortable to argue, "…Thanks."

So this was what they did now, at least at night, when they were by themselves.

During the day, it was like absolutely nothing had changed. And at first, she was sort of glad it was that way, but now it was starting to make her head spin. It almost felt like they were pretending to be different people by acting so awkward around each other when the truth was she felt _most_ comfortable when she was with him.

But they hadn't talked about any of this; they talked about everything _except_ for this.

Tonight, Yato had been talking about how much Yukine has improved as a regalia and how well he did with slaying phantoms that afternoon. Hiyori nodded and agreed, eventually adding in how great he was doing with all of the school work she had assigned him as well as his part time job with Daikoku and Kofuku. From there, he switched the attention to _her_ schoolwork and she reassured him that she was doing just fine and was well on her way to getting into her top choice university despite all the recent chaos. All the while, they were in this position; Hiyori leaning back onto a stack of pillows with Yato curled up against her side until he fell asleep.

With how clingy and obnoxious Yato had been in the past, she was sure that he would be the first one to bring up whatever was going on between them. But after another night of the subject being skipped over, now _she_ couldn't sleep.

So she just continued to comb through his hair, switching between looking down at him and random things around her room as she considered what she would even say if he brought it up. Honestly, she didn't even know what exactly she wanted him to say. No matter how she imagined the conversation, it all lead back to the fact that he was a god and she was a human; he was immortal and she was not. No matter how he felt or how she felt, that was the reality of it.

Maybe that was why he had yet to say anything; maybe it was best to just keep it like this. It was like a glimpse into what could have been without crossing any boundaries, without risking everything else.

She understood that, and yet she could still feel tears gathering at the corner of her eyes and she shook as she tried to let out a breath. She understood, but she couldn't lie to herself either; or to him.

Now that she'd finally come to terms with the fact she did have feelings for him, she almost wished she hadn't. It would have been easier to just have stayed confused rather than try to hold this sort of thing in.

Before she knew it, her tears were making their way down her cheeks, leaving a warm trail that quickly turned cold from the chill in the room. And once she started, she couldn't stop; tears flowed freely to the point she had to lift her hand from his head to wipe her eyes, followed by a few sniffles. She tried her best to stay quiet, but she was shaking too, and eventually the combination was too much.

"…Hiyori?" Yato shifted and started to sit up, his eyes barely open and his voice hoarse, "Why're you still up?"

She let out a small gasp and tried to wipe her eyes as subtly as she could, but it didn't help.

"Wait. Were you crying?" His cyan eyes glowed in the darkness, now wide open as he stared down at her.

She shook her head and tried to force a laugh, "No, no. I'm just tired."

Yato reached out and skimmed the back of his hand against Hiyori's cheek until he found a damp spot at the edge of her jaw. Frowning and pulling his hand back, he leaned forward again, "You were. What's wrong?"

Reaching up to touch the same spot he had just found, she rubbed it dry before sitting up straight and shaking her head again, "It—it's nothing." She had to use all of her strength to keep her voice steady as she lied, all of her emotions still swirling around in her chest and threatening to come spilling out as they bubbled up into her throat, "Really nothing."

"How many times have you told me that now?" He folded his legs underneath himself, "And how many times has that actually been true?"

She lowered her head shamefully, her hair falling forward and hiding her face.

His shoulders fell and he reached out to touch her hand, "Just… talk to me, Hiyori. Don't avoid it. If it really was nothing, then you wouldn't be upset. Right?"

A few more tears slipped down her cheeks and she raised her free hand to wipe them away, answering quietly, "Right." She gently slipped her other hand from under Yato's and placed her hands on top of her legs, "Um." She lifted her head and peeked up at him. Catching sight of his concerned stare, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Did I do something?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, and her eyes shot open again.

"No." She reassured him before pausing and continuing, "I guess… you could say it's something you didn't do. In a way. But I also don't blame you for it, either, so don't overthink things."

Yato leaned backwards, completely lost, "…What?"

"Nevermind. Sort of a change in subject, but…" She hesitated, "What exactly would it mean if our plaques were tied together at Kamuhakari?"

His eyes widened, "That would—" He paused, "—Wait. So _I'm_ who Kofuku…?" He covered his face with his hands and let them drag down slowly, "Well, that's not good."

Hiyori let out a small sigh, "Yeah, that's what I figured."

Yato's brought his hands back into his lap and asked, "So are you upset that I didn't find someone for you?" She could tell he was trying his best to keep his voice steady too, and he continued before she had the chance to answer, "I'm sorry. I really meant to get it back from Kofuku, but then Takemikazuchi caused that whole scene and then me and Yukine got mobbed by almost every god and regalia in the room. And I didn't know that—"

"That's not what I was upset about." She finally managed to find her voice, effectively stopping his apology.

He blinked and furrowed his brows, "But then, why bring it up right now?"

"It's… related." She swallowed nervously, her heart pounding and aching at the same time. She was hoping maybe he'd get the hint and do some of the talking, but he stared at her as clueless as ever. But hidden behind the confusion were frustration and concern, and his expression made her throat tighten even more.

"Can a human even _be_ anything remotely close to a soulmate for a god?" She intertwined her fingers and squeezed her hands together tightly, looking down at them as she did so, "I didn't mind that Kofuku-san tied our plaques together… but I wasn't sure if something like that was even possible. Now that we're like… _this_ ," She pulled her hands apart and motioned between them, her voice low, "I can't stop thinking about it." She didn't look up, instead reaching forward and beginning to fiddle with her edge of her blanket as she waited for his answer.

It took a few minutes, but she finally heard him ask quietly, "Have I made you uncomfortable, Hiyori?"

"What?" Her head snapped upward, "No. No, not at all."

He avoided her eyes as well, staring at the bed and biting his lip.

"I was kind of nervous at first, but never uncomfortable." She exhaled, speaking so quickly that almost all of her words blended together.

His eyes flickered to her for a split second, but he looked right back down and mumbled, "Still. Just because Kofuku tied us together, you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything."

"Yato, that's not—" She raised her voice, but she had so many thoughts swirling around her head that the rest of her sentence got lost somewhere. Huffing at herself, she slid towards him and grasped his shoulders a little harder than she intended to.

"Ow?" He finally lifted his head all the way to look at her, his mouth hanging open in surprise.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that." She closed her eyes and sighed once again, "…Or any of this. I've made this so much worse than it should have been."

Yato's voice softened, "It's okay. Really."

"But you don't understand!" She fired back, practically in a whine, and the tears started to make their way back into her eyes.

He blinked, taken back by the desperation in her voice. After a short pause, he answered, "Then keep talking until I do."

Hiyori froze and stared at him, torn between how grateful she was for his patience and how furious she was with herself for being absolutely terrible with words. Her lips trembling, she fell forward onto his chest and her hands clenched into fists around his white t-shirt. Her tears flowing freely, she let out shakily, "I'm in love with you and I know I shouldn't be." After a few sniffles and whimpers, she added, "I know telling you just makes it more complicated, but it's been getting so harder and harder to hold it in."

"Oh."

She furrowed her brows and considered looking up at him but instead just clenched her fists a little tighter around his shirt as she repeated in disbelief, "Oh…? That's it?"

"Well, everything you said before is starting to make more sense now." He explained before reaching around and gently stroking her hair, "Yeah, it's true that things will probably be really difficult at some point. Probably sooner rather than later, honestly." He used his other hand to gently nudge her head upwards so that she would look him in the eyes, "But I love you too, Hiyori. And I'm willing to try if you are." He took a shallow breath, "If you don't want to though, that's okay too. It's your decision to make."

She shut her eyes tightly, letting out a small noise as a few more tears escaped.

She felt Yato wipe them away with the back of his hand as he continued, "You don't have to make it right now, either."

Her lips twitching upward into a smile, she opened her eyes and let out a tiny laugh, mumbling, "I already did."

He put a few more inches between them and his eyes washed over her curiously as he waited. But her hands let go of his shirt and moved behind his neck, pulling him right back again. She locked eyes with him for only a few seconds before hers moved down to look at his lips and fell shut as she leaned forward.

He kissed her with the utmost gentleness, his thumb gently tracing lines against her cheek and jawline. Each touch felt like small electrical currents moving through her skin and was quickly leaving her breathless as she tried to return his affection by gently running her fingers along his neck and into his hair.

She made two attempts to catch her breath for a few seconds without fully pulling away, but eventually she had to begrudgingly break the kiss while Yato looked on smugly.

"Did you even get any sleep earlier?" He looked down at her curiously, "What time is it?"

"Nope, not at all." She clung to him lazily, her arms still draped around his shoulders and her head nuzzled in the crook of his neck, "I don't know. Where's your phone?"

He secured an arm around her back and tilted them backwards so he could reach for the table next to Hiyori's bed. Tilting them back upward, he flipped his phone open with one hand and winced from the brightness of the screen, "Uhh. A few minutes after three."

"Ugh." She started to wiggle out of his grasp and back under the blankets, "That probably means I'll fall asleep in class tomorrow. I've been doing so well, too…"

"You could always pretend to be sick and stay home from school." He placed his phone back on the table before following her under the covers with a grin.

She gave him a tired stare, "My dad, my brother, and my mom are around sick people all the time, remember? That sort of stuff doesn't really work for me. Believe me, I've tried."

"Ah, yeah." He reached out to pull her against him, his hand lingering at her lower back, "Sucks for you. Guess you'll just have to suffer the consequences."

She closed her eyes and smiled widely at the feeling of his warm breath against her cheek as he spoke, nodding, "I guess so."

"Orrrr… you could pay me five yen and—"

She peeked an eye open and gave him a stern look, "Yato."

"Okay, okay. Nevermind, then." He gave a pout in response.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his in another short kiss, "Goodnight."

With a half-lidded smile, he repeated, "Goodnight, Hiyori."


End file.
